he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
