Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
