i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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