All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
