There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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