I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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