Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
