I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are we still banned from the library?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize