Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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