Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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