you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
