he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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