Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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