My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
