I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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