Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
