she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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