Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need moral support for this bender
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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