You can't motorboat a personality
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
