So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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