i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
