i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
