okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
