she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
