the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ugly people sure do ruin things
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize