Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
