In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize