You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
