my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
