We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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