I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
