I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
