What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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