idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
