I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
