Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize