If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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