So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
