in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
