chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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