I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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