why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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