opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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