Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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