I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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