I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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