Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
