He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
