I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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