they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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