listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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