i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
