He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
