I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
