this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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