this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
