The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
