i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Damn victory sex feels great
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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