I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
