Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
