And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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